maimailove13 (maimailove13) wrote,
maimailove13
maimailove13

Expectation, most of the time, leads to disappointments..

This is probably a fact and I've known this for a long time and I've experienced it over and over... Still... I just can't help myself. How can I lower my expectation or don't expect at all?

When I was in college, I had a group of friends, which always surprise each other on their birthdays. Unfortunately for me, my birthday always fall on the exam week. ALWAYS! 4 years in college and 4 birthdays during Hell Week. Most of the surprises for the other members of the group consist of birthday gifts, while I always, ALWAYS receive food as a gift. It's funny because they know I live in a dormitory and I don't have fridge in my room. And one time I received whole cake as a gift, WHERE WOULD I STORE THAT? So I ended up sharing them to my classmates.  In this scenario, maybe because I already expect them to give me something, so I am disappointed with the things they are giving me? -_-

Aside from them, I have dorm mates whose rooms are just right next to mine. I became close to them when i was in 3rd year but they don't really know my birthday, I just told them that Heechul's accident happened on my birthday. That's the only time I mentioned my birthday which was a few months before my day... .. Lo and behold, the night of my birthday, they had a surprise for me, a bouquet of flowers, a picture of Kim Heechul's face pasted in a meter stick and my favorite dessert in the nearest restaurant in our dorm. I was so surprised that I even cried.. In this situation, maybe because I wasn't expecting anything from them since I am aware that they don't know my birthday or at least won't remember what I told them few months ago....

And now, I was expecting some friends to at least greet me. I'm not even expecting any surprises since I live nowhere near them, but I was expecting some greetings... I know I can't expect anyone to care and to remember my day, but I am really disappointmented.

I hide my birthday in all accounts I have in the internet, one of the reasons is because I don't want to comment "Thanks" to every HBD in my wall... But maybe the primary reason is because I don't want to expect something from anyone, at least they can have an "oops, sorry I forgot" excuse.. I did this to primarily lower my expectations. But for some reasons, I expect someone to greet me. I'm having trouble lowering my expectations.... How could I possibly lower it? -_- Disappointment is such a bitch. Lol. And I am so petty. Lol. -_-
Tags: personal entry
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